In Right Out Right Up Side Down
by happy29
Summary: Fraser and Ray argue about the other Ray... and then morning happens.


Ray Kowalski tapped the gnawed end of his number two yellow pencil against his right temple thoughtfully. "What is a nine letter word for someone that is nameless, unknown or secret?" he thought aloud. Dief barked from his end of the couch. Ray raised his head off the arm of the sofa and peered around the crossword puzzle book he held in his hand. He glared at the wolf and muttered under his breath. "Like _you_ know the answer." Dief yipped in annoyance, hopped off the couch and sulked into the bedroom. "But you just gave me the answer for seven across… _annoying_."

Ray jotted the answer down in the allotted space and moved on to the next problem. He stretched out the length of the couch now that Diefenbaker had moved. "This is much better. Wolf's a couch-hog."

The apartment door opened and shut quietly. Fraser clicked the lock into place and shook the rain off his jacket.

"Your boyfriend called," Ray called from the couch without lifting his head. "You left your wallet at the diner."

Fraser patted his back pocket and let out a frustrated sigh. "Thank you. I would have driven myself crazy looking for it in the morning." He hung his coat up on the coat rack to dry. "And he's _not_ my boyfriend," Fraser corrected.

"Might as well be," Ray replied, returning his attention back to the crossword. "You spend just about as much time with him as you do me."

"He's my friend. I like him in different ways than I like you." Fraser leaned over the back of the couch, stealing a quick kiss. "And the things I do with you… I _definitely_ don't do with him."

"Well, that's good to know." Ray smiled and kissed Fraser again.

Fraser glanced at the crossword in Ray's hands and tapped at the page he was working on. "Ten down. J-E-A-L-O-U-S."

"Smart-ass," Ray mocked his partner. "I'm still stuck on this one," Ray pointed to the question with his middle finger and snickered.

"Ah… that would be ' _anonymous'_ ," Fraser supplied the correct answer. "Someone that wishes to not have their identity revealed would be called anonymous."

"Of course," Ray penciled in the answer. He slid up the couch and sat up, his eyes following Fraser into the kitchen. He peeked at his watch and then the clock on the VCR to confirm the time. "You're home kinda late. What were you and Vecchio up to?"

Fraser flicked the top off his root beer that was actually beer and let it bounce across the countertop before tossing it in the trash. He leaned against the counter casually. "Oh well, you know, the usual."

"You making out in back alleys again?"

"No, I reserve that activity solely for you." Fraser joined Ray in the living room on the couch. He picked up Ray's feet, sat down in Diefenbaker's vacated spot and dropped Ray's feet into his lap. "It was the same tonight as it always is. We just had dinner and talked."

"About?" Ray questioned, dropping the crossword into his lap.

"About Francesca and her new boyfriend. Ray doesn't seem to like him very much."

"That makes two of us." Ray picked up his crossword again and ignored the glare from his partner. "Probably the only thing Vecchio and I agree on."

Fraser remained silent as if pondering Ray's words.

"What? The guy's an ass. Okay? He says he dating Frannie, but he's really dating Frannie _and_ another woman at the same time. Frannie is so head over heels for him that she won't listen to any of us."

"Well, we have to respect Francesca's decisions." Fraser held up a finger when Ray opened his mouth to protest. "But that doesn't mean we can't snoop around in the meantime. I don't want to see Francesca getting hurt either."

"Hey, what's a six letter word for a newcomer or an inexperienced user of the internet or computers in general?" Ray questioned as he returned to tapping the pencil against his cheek.

"I believe that would be _newbie_."

"Yeah, like Frannie was a complete _newbie_ when she started at the station. She couldn't even type."

"Neither can you, Ray."

"And now you know why I keep you around as my partner." Ray gave Fraser his smuggest smile. "So, when are you going to tell Vecchio you drink beer?"

Fraser held up his beer bottled and examined it. "And shatter his perfect image of me? Are you unhinged? Maybe I'll tell him when you finally decide to have dinner with us."

"I see you wore your ring this time." Ray noted as he tapped Fraser's hand with his sock clad foot. "What'd you do? Forget to take it off?"

Fraser toyed with the silver band encircling his left ring finger.

"Sorry," Ray dropped the puzzle back into his lap. "I just hate that he doesn't accept this part of your life. He's your best friend for God's sake. Bet you spent the entire evening listening to him ramble on non-stop about his sister and his mother and the rest of his family that won't move out of his house. Probably didn't let you talk about yourself or what's going on in your life one bit."

"That's not fair," Fraser protested and tossed Ray's feet to the side.

"Well, I'm just being _candor_ in my speech." Ray pointed to the crossword and narrowed his eyes. "Look, that fits number 17 across."

Fraser rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I'm surprised you even know what that word means. Look, he's having a difficult time dealing with his mother's declining health and the rest of the family not helping him out. He needed to vent some of his frustrations. As his friend, I listened to him."

"As your boyfriend, I'm just saying… your friend's a self-centered dick." Ray inserted the pencil in the crease of the puzzle book and closed it, tossing it onto the coffee table.

Fraser slammed his beer bottle onto the coffee table beside the discarded book and jumped to his feet. "As _your_ boyfriend," he raised his voice in anger. "I'd say you're the one making an ass of himself."

Ray jumped to his feet and stood toe to toe with Fraser getting right in his face. He drew his hand up, pointed an accusing finger in Fraser's face and began yelling back. "As your boyfriend, you can sleep on the fucking couch," Ray retaliated as his voice rose. "Better yet, why don't you go sleep at Vecchio's house? I'm sure he'll make room for you."

" _Maybe I will_ …" Fraser screamed back enraged. Before he knew it, Ray's fist connected with the side of his head and all went black.

* * *

Fraser raised his left hand to his temple and moaned. God he had a horrendous headache. He needed something to dull the pain. He opened the door to the bedroom and stopped short when he heard raised voices from the living room. He couldn't quite place the voices and took a few more steps before dread began to fill him. ' _That sounded like…_ ' he thought to himself. 'No, it _couldn't_ be.' Both of his Rays in the same room and laughing? "What the hell?" he muttered to himself as he peeked around the end of the hallway into the living room.

Each Ray was on an opposite side of the coffee table and they appeared to be involved in an intense game of chess.

"What the hell are you two doing?" he asked as he stepped into the living room rubbing his head confused.

"We're playing chess," Kowalski answered as he toyed with the chess piece in his hand. "Sorry, we didn't mean to wake you."

"You're in the same room and you're not fighting." Fraser stated the obvious.

"What are you talking about?" Kowalski asked as he glanced over to a silent Vecchio.

"Benny, you feeling okay?" Vecchio questioned his friend.

"Yes." Fraser rubbed at his temple. "It's just…"

"Just what?" Vecchio asked, pushing the game board forward.

"Well, you two. You're being civilized. You're not fighting."

Kowalski shook his head confused. "And that bothers you?"

"Well, quite frankly, yes. You two hate each other."

"No we don't," Kowalski protested.

"Yes you _do_ …" Fraser corrected.

"Benny, I was Kowalski's best man at your wedding. I don't hate him."

Kowalski stood up and walked towards a very confused Fraser. "I think you hit your head harder than we thought."

"I didn't hit my head. You punched me last night when we were arguing about Ray."

"Ben," Kowalski placed reassuring hands on Fraser's shoulders. "You got hit in the head yesterday during that brawl at the biker bar. Remember? We were trying to catch a lead on our case."

"Benny." Vecchio stood up from the couch and joined Kowalski in front of Fraser. Together they escorted him to the couch so he could sit down. "You've been out for like fourteen hours. Docs told Ray to wake you up every few hours. I stayed over to help him out and keep an eye on you. We got bored so we decided to play chess."

"I must have had a really strange dream then. I dreamt the two of you hated each other and Ray and I were fighting because of it."

Vecchio laughed out loud. "Hate each other? Hardly. I see more of him than I do you."

"Oh," Fraser rubbed head again. "That's good..."

"It's greatness," Kowalski exclaimed. "You know what else it is?"

"What? Vecchio questioned.

"It's _checkmate_ baby…" Kowalski declared triumphantly.


End file.
